’ They left and I masturbated using their cum until I had at least four more orgasms. I needed my husband home to help me control what I’d become. That night, I got a phone call from my Sweetie. He said, ‘Honey, I’ve got some bad news. I got to be out here another week.’ I screamed, ‘Nooooooo, I can’t be without you any longer. Please come home. Everything is going to shit.’ He answered, ‘Has Pat been bothering you?’ ‘She’s been talking to me and making me do things.’ I replied. He sounded worried when he said, ‘You mean with other people or just on the phone?’ I couldn’t tell him the truth, not on the phone when he was so far away, so I lied and said, ‘No just on the phone.’ ‘So it’s just phone sex then.’ he replied. I lied again and answered, ‘Yes, just phone sex.’ He said, ‘That’s OK, Honey. I know the power she has over you and I’m glad it’s just phone sex. I hope to get this wrapped up early, so I can be home with you sooner. See you soon. Love ya.’ I replied with. There was my baby, exactly as it had looked two minutes before when the picture was taken. There was my baby, who in two more minutes or maybe two hours from now would be cut and sucked out of me. By my choice. If I were the fainting kind, that would have done it. I will never, ever forget that image. My tiny, curled-up, potato-headed baby- he was real. Too early to determine sex (and they probably wouldn’t have told me anyway), I was sure it was a boy. I named him Julian, and for the rest of the time I was there I talked to him and apologized and tried to explain. I told him I felt it was fortunate that I believe in reincarnation, because that meant he’d get another chance to go to someone who could take care of him properly and spoil him the way he deserved. If he stayed with me, he’d be unhappy so much of the time. He just wouldn’t have a good life. I asked him to forgive me, and that absolution was more important to me than God’s or anyone else’s. I don’t know if he heard me, but.
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